Just got off the phone with Kim. She gave me a speech about having consideration for her sleep. I said "I did consider it lol........I considered that if the birds are chirping, and the sun is up, it's Hogan time!! Do you think Hogan laid in the bed when there was daylight?? lol" Then she requested that I pllllleeeeeaaaase move her truck out of the garage when I am being Mr. Hogan. She then reminded me of the cracked windshield on my own truck. Yeah, I cracked the windshield, but I wasn't practicing; I was doing something totally different………. I was in need of a golf fix (kinda like a drug fix lol). Here's the story:
It had rained non-stop for about a week, and I couldn't get out to the course. I checked the forecast every day hoping to get a round in at some point. The stinking forecaster said the rain would be over late Thursday nite and Friday would be "partly cloudy." Sooo, I took off work on that Friday. Cleaned my clubs and packed my golf bag that Thursday nite. Got up early Friday morn, had a champions breakfast, and headed to West Pines course for a well-needed round of 18. Left home and the skies were clear as spring water. Got closer to the course and it started to get dark. Parked my truck, and it got reeeeeeeal dark. It was about 10am and there was 1 other vehicle in the parking lot. My thinking was “I’m not letting a few dark clouds scare me away…..there WILL be some golf played today!!” Opened my door, put my foot on the ground, and the bottom of the black clouds above fell onto the earth like a stinkin waterfall. I was sooooo determined to play that day, that I got my clubs out, and splashed my way into the clubhouse. I walk in with my shirt and pants glued to me cause of the typhoon outside. The guy at the counter was locking the place up and said “Ummmmmmm……buddy, not gonna happen today. It’s a dang hurricane out there.” Of course, I didn’t hear him, cause I NEEEEEEED to play some golf. I just stood there cold and dripping onto his carpet. I said something stupid like “well, it may just pass over.” There was a television to the right of the counter that had the severe weather beep at the bottom of the screen with a splotch of red over about 3 counties. I stared at him, stared at the tv, stared at the range, stared at the parking lot, then just walked out in disgust. Didn't even say bye. (My apologies to the guy at the counter....my disgust was really for the weather man!) Got back in my truck and headed to Walmart to buy some wiffle balls to hit in the garage. Bought a few bags and headed straight home. Got home and the monsoon was still spitting on everything. I pulled into the garage and set up my "indoor range." I started hitting the plastic, wimpsy, flimsy whiffle balls towards a wooden target about 30 yards from my garage door. (I was hitting in the opposite direction as I am in the Take 3 video). I put up a target and had a pretty good time hitting it, but the balls just made that "whhhhhrrrrrllllllllll" sound with no real bang. I had a splendid idea.......and this is where i went wrong........I thought that since I was hitting the wimpy whiffles direct to the target, with EVERY club, EVERY time, that I would do the same if I hit a real ball. The precautious, adult side of my brain said that I should not hit a hard a$$ed golf ball into the wooden board, but into a nice, thick, safe, bed comforter. Soooooooo, I went upstairs and got one out of the closet. I got a bungee cord and tied it to a couple of yellow hooks that I screwed into the girders. Now if you can picture this, the comforter is MUCH larger than the wooden target on the wall behind it, so logic should say that I was being safe. I teed a Pro V1 up, grabbed my driver, and swung like I was at a Remax long drive championship. I must have been ramped up with adrelanine, cause I pull-hooked it into the concrete brick wall above the washing maching; the ball missed the giant comforter, ricocheted towards my truck, and right into my windshield, which left a nice sparkly crack. The funny part about it was I just stood there trying to figure out what I did to hook it......lol didn't even care about the $300 windshield I just destroyed lol. I can barely type this right now.......still laughing about it LOLOL!! The not-so-funny part of this is, of course, I ended the indoor driving range session, and forgot to take down the comforter. Kim got home and had all kinds of questions about why her comforter was bungeed to the wall. I told her I was "thinking" about hitting a few balls, but I didn't think it was a good idea (wink-wink lol). I eventually told her about it a couple of years later when we had friends over for dinner. We were all sharing funny stories of our marriages. My wife actually laughed about it; I told her the cracked windshield came from a hail storm.
I haven't fixed the windshield yet....maybe I'm keeping it that way as a reminder lol.