2.0,
It sounds like you have helped your Dad find the excitement about himself (and his Golf). I know the game can beat you down if you get too focused on the results and lose sight of owning your own attitude, your game, and loving yourself. It is an easy trap to get into because everything you do in life is so focused on the results…4.0 GPA in school, Salary and Position at work, Neighborhood where Your House is, Car you Drive, …so you can parallel that to your golf and make the score you shoot, club where you play, clubs that you own, instructor that you have, and friends who you play with as being driving forces in your enjoyment of the game. You eventually come to the realization while this is all important, it is not the most important part. In your case, the most important part is you and your dad are together and having fun playing the game you both love. There are a lot of guys your age whose father has died, have a poor relationship with their dad, live too far apart, don’t have enough money to play, dad doesn’t play, …who do not have the opportunity to have fun with their dad. Viewed from this perspective, you have a great opportunity with your Dad tomorrow….one you will not have one day so why not have fun. Who cares what you or your Dad shoot, where you play, what clubs you are using, who else is around….have fun and enjoy the time you have together…it will not last forever that is certain.
It is good feedback you have shared on what you valued the most thus far from me. I know working with friends, many who are extremely successful at other aspects of their life, struggle mightily with having fun with Golf. In the past, I used to NOT confront behavior that I thought was out of line behavior…swearing, beating clubs against the ground, talking badly about themselves, their clubs, others…and justified it by saying this is the struggle with learning this great game….to beat your head against the wall until you break through. I have since determined that is not the case. I have learned to be very observant of their behavior before shots and after shots to gain an insight into their attitude while playing this great game and to do some head shaping to teach the values that I learned on what is required to really have fun. To care about what you are doing on the golf course and not become emotional about the results of your actions. I have learned to not give high fives on good shots and try to find out what went wrong on bad shots…to treat each result the same and to focus in on the golfers behaviors playing the shots and teach them what really matters. I can observe guys who hit poor shots whose shoulders slump and head goes down to know they are in a death spiral in this game and intervene to do some head shaping to teach them another way.
On the lessons you passed onto your dad,
1. Focusing on short term results when implementing new techniques impedes progress.
Rock Response: I concur. You must believe that you will improve by being focused on what you are doing and not concerning yourself with short term results. I tell friends when you have hit 100 shots good in a row, then you have something so I am not impressed with 5 good or 5 bad ones in a row. What impresses me is continuing to do what you are working on with the same rhythm, pace, and belief. I love it when I see someone shank 5 shots in a row and maintain the same rhythm, pace, and belief that the next shot will be a good one….when I see their follow though full, I see their body language positive, and I see love of what they are doing…I see they are having fun. This doesn’t happen accidentally. It happens with self awareness. It happens with focus and determination. It happens with doing it every single time until you are doing what you want to do. Watch your Dad before and after every shot tomorrow and hopefully you will see him walking the walk. If he is not walking the walk, then hopefully he will see from your example how to do it. If you see him in a death spiral of worsening behavior, then you must take action to teach him how it is done and have some fun. This is what you must do for someone who you love. Hopefully, it will not be necessary and both of you will walk the walk all day long. I want you to think Sam Snead, Tom Watson, Lee Trevino, and Matt Kuchar…not the mechanics of their swing, but how they conduct themselves out on the course.
2. Feels and sounds tell the truth. Good feels + good sounds = Good golfs
Rock Response: Yes, you need to be aware of the feels in your body and the sounds in your practice swings and on the actual shots. When you brush the grass on the practice swings around the green, a story is being told. When you hear the wind and the sound that your shoes are making as you walk, a story is being told. When you are observant of the feel in your body on good and bad shots, a story is being told. With experience and expertise, you will be able to take that story and create beauty. You will find the truth.
3. You must train yourself to not be ball-bound. Our bodies can hit the ball much better when we don't get mesmerized by the stupid ball.
Rock Response: Yes, contacting the ball is one very small instant in time of the overall process in hitting a great golf shot. Your brain is processing many pixels of sight and the golf ball is a very small percentage of that. When you are in the correct frame of mind, you will see every grain of grass and be aware of how much your eyes are really seeing. You will also be able to take a snap shot of the image and close your eyes and still get the same results when you are in the proper frame of mind. You have to believe that by focusing on what you are doing to the best of your ability will get the ball to go where you want. By being observant of the sound of the ball and where it goes with no emotion, you will continue to evolve and gain the ability to get the result you desire. Your body knows what to do if you allow it. Your body is much smarter than you. It can keep you functioning very well with no intervention of your conscious thoughts. Yes, you do need knowledge about what your body can and can’t do in a golf swing, but you need to know how to apply that knowledge in an appropriate way so your body functions well on the golf course and not mess yourself up. It is quite a journey to do the best you can do and a lot of fun if you have the correct attitude.
I hope your dad does not quit this great game. I hope you both have the time of your life and apply what you have learned to help others along the way. I would be impressed with that. I do not care if you both shoot 50 or 150 tomorrow as long as you enjoy your journey…that would impress me.
Thanks,
Rock